


twitter is an avengers level threat

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Coming Out, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Social Media, Swearing, Team as Family, Twitter, Why Did I Write This?, everyone is ooc I'm sorry, im not from america so if it's kinda weird then my asian ass is sorry, no beta we die like men, sorry about the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25688425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: in which peter gets a twitter and makes every other avenger get one too. thus begins the infiltration and subsequent spreading of the Homosexual Agenda (TM).watch out twitter. the avengers are here.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers/Hela (Marvel), Gamora/Peter Quill, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Helen Cho/Okoye (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, M'Baku/T'Challa (Marvel), Maria Hill/Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Michelle Jones/Ava Starr, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Stephen Strange/Wong, Wanda Maximoff/Shuri
Comments: 132
Kudos: 475
Collections: Anonymous





	1. the infernal gates of twitter have opened up and accommodated one peter benjamin parker

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello thank you for clicking onto this! this fic is just another one of those everyone is gay twitter fics bc i want to explore some ideas but i’m bad at writing. aLSO i’m not funny so i apologise in advance.
> 
> also!! probably irregular updates because the ib system is gonna fuck me in the ass. i cope by pretending it’s 2016
> 
> all these twitter handles i made up but if anyone has them then im sorry i didnt mean to :))

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
it’s twidder dot hell time

 **oh look a hoemo** @littleandromeda  
whats with that handle

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
everyone stole the ones i wanted lmao

 **not spidey (fan acct!!)** @Spider_Man  
oops

 **jojoes** @azkadoe  
is this actually spiderman tho

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
i regret to inform you that this is actually spidey

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
what are you doing here? i said no twitter

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
welp i am no longer lmao i just ‘a’ bc wow mr stark that was an ass move

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
please dont say that again, just keep that crusty handle if it makes you happy

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
:D !!

-

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
it is my life goal to get all the avengers on twitter

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
currently it’s only mr stark, pepper, peter and me

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i will force the others to make accounts 

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
please don’t get the other avengers onto twitter

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
mr stark we need to build our brand if we want to gain levels in the capitalist system

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
please don’t i beg

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
then beg.

-

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
how much money will you bet clint is the first to get a twitter

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
20 against

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
taken

-

 **Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
so clint told me to get twitter but turns out he isn’t even on here?

 **Hawkeye** @realHawkeye  
im here now

 **oh it’s charlie** @6ftsubmxrine  
spidey actually did it the madlad

 **gen z type depression** @cxptainnoir  
the avengers are getting twitter this is best day

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
@parkerighthere where’s my 20

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i fucking hate clint, all my homies hate clint

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
thats what you get for not buying me pizza

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
boohoo you lost 20 dollars, peter you should have bought me pizza and got that money back eh? regretting it now are you

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
its just pizza,,

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
you bought EVERYONE pizza EXCEPT ME

 **supernova** @thunderstar  
what the heck why would he do that

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
it was in the hope he would get twitter and be angry bc of the lack of pizza

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
clint, your pizza is in mr sam’s room

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
the ice is thin kid, watch your step

 **Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
mr sam?

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
it’s respect

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
peter parker you little shit.

-

 **Nick Fury** @DirectorOfSHIELD  
@NYCWallCrawler What do you mean that the Avengers aren’t on Twitter, I’m right here.

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
avengers aren’t cishets 🤩

 **Nick Fury** @DirectorOfSHIELD  
I hate this

 **Nick Fury** @DirectorOfSHIELD  
Maria is here too though, she’s not “a cishet”. What do you say about her?

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
oh shit she is?

 **maria hill** @deputyhill  
hello spidey

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ahh!! another avenger on twitter!!!! i did not know this!!!!

 **Nick Fury** @DirectorOfSHIELD  
I hate this so much

 **ally | check pinned!** @spideyally  
wait avengers aren’t cishets????

  


**ally | check pinned!** @spideyally  
everyone is so caught with up spidey fucking around on twitter does no one care that he said “avengers aren’t cishets 🤩”

 **ally | check pinned!** @spideyally  
is this a fever dream?? oomfs where are y’all????

 **queer rights babey** @widowsexual  
i-

 **queer rights babey** @widowsexual  
see i was caught up with the fact maria fucking hill is not a cishet i missed the “ALL AVENGERS ARE NOT CISHETS!!”

 **slice me in my jugulars** @falconjoy  
gay avengers?

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
;)

 **ally | check pinned!** @spideyally  
oh my fuck


	2. the avengers are gay as hell and have adopted 5 small gay children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> twitter is introduced to the science children and raise some valid questions like “where is bruce banner?” and “the avengers are gay?”
> 
> one of those questions weren’t given a straight answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please pretend that everyone (excluding the asgardians, bruce and the gotg) made twitter accounts in between this chapter and the previous one thank you

**jeremiah the frog** @peelparagraph  
so the avengers all have twitter now, but where bruce banner??

**trico** @puncheol99  
didn’t he go missing like a couple years ago? no one’s heard from him since

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
He did. He went missing right after Ultron attacked Sokovia. We don’t really know where he went but !! We’ve received some messages from Thor that he’s found Bruce and bringing him back

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
how bruce even got to space on an airplane?? is past all of us please don’t ask

**supernova** @thunderstar  
steve rogers used the !!

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
hell yeah i did !!

-

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
GUESS WHO’S HERE !!

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
whomst !!

**Thor Odinson** @TheMightyThor  
HELLO MORTALS !!

**gen z type depression** @cxptainnoir  
even thor uses the !! avengers are all gay confirmed

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
I don’t use the !! and I’m gay as hell

**underwater,** @bluewarmth  
holy shit bruce banner really is back

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
and the asgardians

**Thor Odinson** @TheMightyThor  
use the !!

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
I can’t, I have an image of academia to uphold

**Thor Odinson** @TheMightyThor  
please 🥺 !!

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
fine

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
i love you !!

**my happy place~** @tardisstark  
they fucking gay!! good for them!!

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
oh hell yeah they fucking gay

**Thor Odinson** @TheMightyThor  
we’re dating :))

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
yes we are

**my happy place~** @tardisstark  
holy shit oh my god

**supernova** @thunderstar  
bruce banner and thor is not what expected but i am not mad and i love them

**annus rights (she/they)** @softiplier  
bruce banner!! and thor!! oh my god this is amazing

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
proud of you both

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
gay!!!!!!! we love to see it

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
thor and bruce are both cuddling and crying

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
valid. the only way to get rid of jetlag

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
is this your way of saying you want a hug tony

**james** @jbbucky  
tony when was the last time you slept

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
like a normal amount? theres a 4 there somewhere?

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
FRIDAY says he hasn’t slept for 44 hours

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
two fours!! even better

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
i am coming over right now

  


**Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
why did steve rogers run through a door instead of opening it?

**Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
oh i see

**Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
right. i didn’t see a thing. what door? “i see”? no i don’t see anything

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
who knew pepper potts was also chaotic

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
pepper is just the only one who can hide it well

-

**underwater,** @bluewarmth  
so that whole interaction was wholesome as shit but clint literally said avengers gay and i kinda wanna know more

**underwater,** @bluewarmth  
i don’t know if this is bad, but i kinda wanna know who’s dating who

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
i do too so,, if it’s bad we can be bad together

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
lmao everyone has been thinking the same way

-

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
right so now we have twitter we can interact with people

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i have all the avengers secrets just ask and they shall be yours

**fuck terfs baby** @hikuuumikuuu  
this is lame but who has the best music taste?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
god everyone has such different tastes it absolutely chaotic at the dinner table

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
while im sidetracked yes we all eat dinner at the same table, rhodey forces us and says it’s good manners

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
you bet i do. my mom didn’t raise me to be a nasty heathen

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
we have forks and knives and everything,, and chAIRS!! cant forget those

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ANYWAYS BACK TO MUSIC TASTE!! its chaotic. we have some emo ginches, rock bastard and of course, the kpop simps

**stream more & more** @euphoriayeon  
holy shit at least (?) one of the avengers is a kpop stan

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
kpop is the best, it’s like pop but i don’t have to listen to people talking about kissing. amazing

**stream more & more** @euphoriayeon  
spidey is a kpop stan, we are blessed

**my happy place~** @tardisstark  
what happens on a normal day in the life of the avengers?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
a normal day? we train, we get called out, we fight bad people, we sleep

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
a not normal day? we train, we don’t get called out, we don’t fight bad people, we sleep

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
oh my god we have these slumber party esque things

**goblin lesbian** @froggatecore  
oh my god what are those

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
basically everyone congregates in the main room and we just do shit

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
other people are there too like the science kids and sometimes we have non-avenger heroes there too

**unus rights** @softgameplays  
wait non-avenger heroes? like who??

**ingrid is playing anch** @ingridcrossing  
and science kids?? are they heroes what

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
oh lmao you guys don’t know? does mr stark never talk about anything @aTonyStark

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
how would i even bring up the conversation?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i know many ways wanna hear

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
kid no

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
kid no it is i’m afraid :( sorry guys

-

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
ok everyone wants to know more about the avenger slumber parties but i wanna know more about the science kids? who are they??

**underwater,** @bluewarmth  
tony stark said “kid no” which spidey responded to, so maybe it’s the younger heroes like spidey??

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
@aTonyStark who are the science kids

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
thats not going to work lmao

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
they’re a group of youngsters who i sometimes wish i never met

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
fuck! it worked

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
god he’s so dramatic

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
the science kids are just a group of younger people who help either Stark Industries or the avengers

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
to be fair though, they are a handful

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
but we love them

**queer rights babey** @widowsexual  
do they have twitter

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
some of them, i don’t actually know if they all have twitter

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
we have a bet going on how many of them have twitter

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
how many of them are there?

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
5 and we all have twitter

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
clint give me my money

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
holy fuck no harley why

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
wait 5 science kids?? who would they be?

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
so we have peter @parkerighthere, spidey @NYCWallCrawler, ava @quantumghost, shuri @shuri_jan and me

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
sam how much money does clint owe you

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
40 because he was so sure of himself

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
isn’t it nice to know that we’re worth so much

**ava** @quantumghost  
im worth 8 dollars that more than shield ever gave me

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
f

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
the hell? im not a science kid

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
yes you are. you do science and you are small

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
im not small what??

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
yes you are now hush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m trying my hardest to make sure everyone gets included but if you want more [insert character] content then just tell me and i’ll make it happen
> 
> thank you for reading!!


	3. wanda definitely runs a stan account

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wanda feels very gay very frequently and she goes to twitter very often to rant about very hot Girls (TM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is completely self indulgent and i am so sorry

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
i am Looking

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
op!! this is so true!! i look too!!

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
i am Feeling

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
very relatable op!! i too also Feel!!

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
spidey shut up

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
this is important

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
i am GettingReadyToSaySomethingVeryImportantSoYouAllBetterBeListening

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
i am Bisexual ✨

**slice me in my jugulars** @falconjoy  
holy shit scarlet witch just came out

**flower shower** @peonyying  
oh my god wanda maximoff is bisexual

**wanda maximoff is bisexual** @seventeenhome  
things my idol did: that

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
wanda i am so proud of you

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
congratulations wanda!

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
i could hear wanda take a deep breath from the other side of the room, i’m so proud of you kid

**ingrid is playing anch** @ingridcrossing  
the avengers are all so supportive i’m crying so hard right now

**ava** @quantumghost  
wanda!!!!!!!

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
holy shit i am so happy for you

**my happy place~** @tardisstark  
wanda is bi i am Crying and Clapping i love her

  


**wanda** @scarletwitch  
right this means i can be horny on main without people questioning

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
wanda no

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
i am Thirsty

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
op ily and i’m proud of you, but did you really need to say that

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
yes

-

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
i am merely a baby sapphic. but i have thoughts

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
my thoughts are revolving around Girls

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
specifically one Lee Gahyeon

**ava** @quantumghost  
oh here she goes someone stop her

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
NO let her speak

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
Lee “I never dye my hair any colour except brown” Gaheyon has pink fucking hair

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
PINK HAIR

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
H O T P I N K H A I R

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE LOOKS SO GOOD

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
lee gahyeon with pink hair is now dreamcatcher’s most liked tweet ever

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
and i think that is well deserved

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
anyways stan dreamcatcher for clean skin they deserve so much more than what they have

  


**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
for people who are interested!! dreamcatcher is a kpop/krock group and their music is *chefs kiss*

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
they have horror/dark fantasy based concepts without sexual innuendos which i think is real cool of them

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
they have a completely gender neutral discography while having over 50 songs

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
many of their songs discuss topics such as depression and anxiety

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
they constantly break gender roles and by constantly i mean Constantly

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
they cover songs sang by men to women without changing the pronouns and normalise same sex attraction in a homophobic country which is so brave of them

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
they have never won any music show awards even though they deserve to. they’re releasing a new mini album on the 17th august please support them

**wanda is so gay please stop her** @scarletwitch  
dreamcatcher first win!! we’re supporting you!!

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
that was actually so soft

**rosi** @siyeonparadise  
thank you for supporting dreamcatcher!!

**mimi** @lullabyhyeon  
dreamcatcher first win!!

**s loves scarlet witch** @scarletsmiles  
if wanda says stan dreamcatcher you bet i’m going to go check them out

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
wanda’s actually crying right now,, i don’t like kpop personally but i’m actually touched by her dedication towards these girls

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
she’s crying even harder right now

**kokocho** @avengerkoko  
oh no why?

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
dreamcatcher followed her


	4. wong the noodle cryptid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wong wants japanese food so he takes stephen on a field trip to japan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter was so self indulgent that i didn’t really count it as a chapter so yeay!! double update!! this chapter is more fluff than humour because lately i’ve been struggling mentally so it’s hard to think properly
> 
> also i give wong and actual name because what the hell marvel, give the man an actual name not this “cho chang” equivalent bullshit

**wong** @sorcererwong  
stephen

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Wong

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
stephen i want noodles

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
And what do you want me to do about that?

 **won** @sorcererwong  
i want you to open your fucking wallet and give me money so i can buy noodles

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
And why would I do that?

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
because i know what you’re hiding behind the second bookshelf on the mezzanine level

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Take my money

 **oh it’s charlie** @6ftsubmxrine  
what is dr strange hiding??? please we need to be fed

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
well,,,,

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Do you want noodles or not you little shit

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
well i guess it’s a story for another time 😔

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
that another time is never if you want me to keep funding your food finances

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
ok then 😔

-

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Turns out his idea of noodles is a full blown trip to Japan  
[four images are attached: the first image is a picture of wong staring amazed at the shiodome ghibli clock while it moves. the second image is a picture of wong playing with a claw machine in the sega building, he seems to be struggling. the third image is a selfie of wong and stephen standing and holding takoyaki. the fourth image is also a selfie of wong and stephen in a standing noodle bar, both are eating udon.]

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
that’s actually kinda cute i wanna go japan with my friends now

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
yeah me too i want a date in japan

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
wait this was a date??

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
No

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
yes

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
oh welp

 **queer rights babey** @widowsexual  
oh my god no :0

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
wong :((

 **abigale** @bbibbigale  
oh no oof the same thing happened to me before,,,

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Do you want this to be a date?

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
like a half date?

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
We’re going to discuss this

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
ok

-

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
After some discussion, Wong and I have come to agreement about our feelings. We are now in a queerplatonic relationship with each other

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
congrats!!!

 **ally | check pinned!** @spideyally  
oh DAMN!! GOOD FOR YOU GUYS!!

 **Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
That’s really amazing of you!! I’m glad you both sorted it out so effectively!!

 **Thor Odinson** @TheMightyThor  
i am so proud of you both you funky wizards

 **unus rights** @softgameplays  
hell yeah!! queerplatonic rights babee

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
legendary behaviour i wish i could do that

 **ava** @quantumghost  
just grow a spine and ask

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
:))

  


**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
And @aTonyStark it’s a half date

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
cute

-

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
One of the things I will never understand about Wong is why he eats a lot of noodles but not rice?

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
because it’s good that’s why

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Yeah but you don’t like rice??

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
because rice sucks ass

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
And the difference is?

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
noodles are in soup and have flavour

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
But you don’t like soup??

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
yeah because soup sucks ass

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
But you like noodles in /soup/?

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
yes

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
But you don’t like soup

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
i don’t drink the soup

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
But you only like noodle compared to rice because it’s in soup

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
yes

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Fucking hell

-

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
He’s on his fifth bowl someone stop him  
[an image is attached: wong is in the centre of this image with four bowls stacked next to him. he is eating what looks like chashu ramen. wong doesn’t notice stephen taking this photo, he’s completely absorbed with eating]

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Just another thing I will never understand about Wong

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
what else don’t you know please tell me while he’s not here

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Why he likes noodles in soup but not soup. Why he pretends to be ignorant of pop culture. What he spends his money on and why he has to use mine.

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
I also don’t know how to pronounce his name and I feel very bad about it

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
s-same

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
its so funny when stephen says my name because he literally cannot say the both characters and it’s amazing

 **zack (they/them)** @zackura  
what is your real name because i don’t think you’re talking about “wong”

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
i mean wong is my real name, it’s just my last name

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
my full name is 黃志諾 which i guess can be romanised as Wong Zi-ngok? Or Wong Tze-nok? cantonese has a fucked up romanisation system there’s no official one and no one can agree on how to do anything

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
literally everyone not chinese calls me wong tho so i don’t mind if people keep calling me that

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
it’s really funny tho, stephen can’t do the ts/tz/z sound AND the ng/n sound and i think that’s amazing

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
it gives me an excuse to laugh at him

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
I deserve it

 **wong** @sorcererwong  
yes you do you white man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i give wong that specific name to [redacted] against my [redacted] yes i did


	5. tony’s work ethic actually needs to addressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve, bucky and rhodey digitally discuss and address the nature of tony's work ethic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been a while since i updated so sorry for this sad chapter. bUT a few things have come up!!
> 
> first of all, holy shit guys!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 100 KUDOS!! i’m so glad people this story bc i enjoy writing it!! i honestly can’t believe the amount of support i’ve gotten from people i love you all :)) !!
> 
> secondly, dreamcatcher came back and if you could spend 3-4 minutes just watching their [music video](https://youtu.be/MZ4JGye4dQU) that would be really poggers. dreamcatcher made a wish hoping that they would reach 10 mil views in a month and it happened in 3 days im so proud of them
> 
> lastly, i started school today. yes, on a friday. wednesday was cancelled because of a typhoon and thursday was changed to be orientation day so,, yeah. this may mean that updates are even slower because ib is gonna fuck me up. i’m sorry
> 
> !! TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER !!  
> i’m not sure if this is apt, (if someone can tell me if it is that would be cool), but:  
> tw // depressive thoughts , self hatred (if there’s any others you want me to tag just tell me!!)

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Anthony Edward Stark.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
who?

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
You.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
oh fuck yea,, thats me

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
We need to address your work ethic

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
we?

**james** @jbbucky  
yeah

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
We

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
We’re bringing this to Twitter in hopes that constant encouragement from people outside of the Avengers might remind you to sleep

**james** @jbbucky  
and if you all don’t encourage him then i will go and shout at you until you do

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
the thing is buddies, you don’t actually have to!

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
i am absolutely a-ok super amazing as one can be

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
So can you tell me why you’re on the verge of collapsing where you stand

**james** @jbbucky  
and why friday says you haven’t slept for 51 hours?

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
and that is ok and normal i see nothing wrong

**james** @jbbucky  
and that’s the problem

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
The fact that you haven’t slept for over two days because you were holed up working is a problem and it needs addressing.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
it really doesn’t

**james** @jbbucky  
it does and we’re gonna fucking address it

**james** @jbbucky  
tony you’re gonna hurt yourself if you continue like this

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
no because i am coping fine i’m doing well

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Tony this may be hard to come to terms with but you are struggling. If you’re not now (which you are), you will be in the future.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
but im ok now

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
Tony, passing out on the couch in your workshop is not “ok”

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
it’s better than the floor

**james** @jbbucky  
that is a very low bar,,

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Tony, you’re stressed.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
i mean yeah,, but it’s not that big of a problem and i’m dealing with it

**james** @jbbucky  
tony, the fact your stress is causing you to overwork and harming you both physically and mentally is a big problem and we need to address it

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
it’s not /that/ bad,,

**james** @jbbucky  
tony, it is

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
Hey Tones, you shouldn’t be passing out right after you decide to take a break

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Tony, you shouldn’t be working yourself to the point where we hardly even see you outside of meal time

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
oh

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
yeah

**james** @jbbucky  
hey hey it’s ok

**james** @jbbucky  
well what you’re doing to yourself is not fine but that fact that you realise it’s bad is good

**james** @jbbucky  
and we’re here for you ok?

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
We’re here to help you, Tony.

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
You can always talk to us

**james** @jbbucky  
you can talk to us whenever you feel safe enough to, we’re not going to force you to explain your habits but we are going to try to stop them because they are damaging and they’re hurting you tony

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
it’s just,, i can’t not work

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
You don’t have to talk here, we can do this privately if you want that.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
if i don’t talk now i don’t think the right words will come out in the right order

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
At your own pace Tones

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I love my work and what I do, but I hate working in excess. I hate myself when I pass out after days and days of not sleeping but working is the only thing to keep my mind off hating myself. Not sleeping is the only thing keeping the nightmares away.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
It's a vicious cycle of working more to forget that I hate myself only to hate myself for working so much. Upgrades and new functions to the gear? It’s a job, it’s basically an assigned project and that helps.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I don’t have to choose to do something, I just have to do the thing that I’m given. I try to do something I want, doing sports? Reading a book? Watching a movie? But then I spend the whole day thinking about what I want to do and how useless I am regarding how I can't choose something. I then look up and I've done nothing but it’s time to sleep.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
When I do sleep, I wake up feeling even worse than before. Passing out is the only time when I don't have nightmares. It's better to work myself to my grave and accomplish something than to sit awake doing nothing or sleeping sleep that won’t make me feel rested.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
At least I have a product showing people that hey! I existed! I’m useful! I can do things too! It’s not just my father! I’m here too!

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I feel so useless that I can’t just figure out what I want to do. I have so much. I have so, so much. I’m a fucking billionaire I can do anything I want. But when I decide to do something I just feel sick because am I sure I want to do this? Is this truely what I want? What if I change my mind?

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I work not because I want to but because I have to. I have to work so that I stop myself from hating myself for working.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I don’t know what to do because it’s been this way for so long.

**james** @jbbucky  
I just want to let you know that I am so fucking proud of you. It’s hard to admit that you have a problem and it’s even harder to admit that you don’t know how to solve it

**james** @jbbucky  
I’m so proud of you for saying this in such a public space, that’s so incredibly brave of you to do.

**james** @jbbucky  
Tony, do you want help?

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
yes.

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
I’m so proud of you for acknowledging you need help. That is extremely hard to do and the fact that you’re openly saying it is so brave of you.

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
The first thing you can do is let us help and trust us. When you’re feeling like this, call for one of us. Or ask Friday to call us. We’re here for you, we’re here to support you. You can talk to us or just be with us. We don’t mind because your health is important to us Tony.

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
You’re not a burden if you have to talk to us. You’re not a burden for “forcing our attention on you.” You’re not a burden for these things because we want to do them for you.

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Just us is not enough to get better though. You’ll have to see a professional. If you don’t want to now, that’s ok, we’re not going to force you. We’ll listen to what you want and make sure that you’re not uncomfortable because you’re important to us Tony. We want to make sure that you feel better and that you recover properly, at your own pace.

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
If we’re ever bothering you, if you need time alone, if you feel we’re too forthcoming, tell us. You’re not “being rude”, you have to pay attention to your needs as well. We want to help you and that can’t truly happen unless you want to help yourself too.

**james** @jbbucky  
We love you Tony and we only want to see the best for you.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
thank you guys,,, i-

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
can you come over?

**james** @jbbucky  
ofc, we’re all coming over right now

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
can you bring chocolate?

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
Of course

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Is there anything else you need?

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
can you bring some of the dvds in a pile on the left of the bookshelf? just a couple will do

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
I’m bringing all of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this applies to everyone. you're not a burden if you need help. there are people out there who love you and are rooting for you. you're so amazing and brave to have made it this far.
> 
> if i said anything wrong or problematic please tell me immediately and i'll change it. i'll delete this whole chapter if it's all bad. i don't want to harm people so please please tell me if i said something wrong


	6. if you’re mad about people celebrating halloween prematurely, try mid autumn festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wong talks about mooncakes and helen laughs (then also educates)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry that this took so long to write. i was supposed to write and update this fic during august but hey,,, that didnt happen huh.. i just started the ib diploma so everything is going to shit right now. i think i have some sort of a schedule now so updates should be quicker!!
> 
> sorry for the long wait and happy mid autumn festival yall!!

**BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
it’s september,, why is there halloween stuff everywhere??

**ava** @quantumghost  
i’m not complaining,, i walk into a shop and boom. candy. i don’t even need to look

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
they also over produce which means everything cost less and i can feel less guilty when i lick capitalisms boot

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
woah there pardner ms loki be an anti-capitalist

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i’m anti everything if we’re being very fucking honest

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
well,, you got me there

**wong** @sorcererwong  
lmao you all think celebrating halloween a month early is extreme,, try mid autumn festival

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Pray tell

**wong** @sorcererwong  
well i mean,, people are selling mooncakes in early august which is two months before mid autumn

**wong** @sorcererwong  
people are also making lanterns and decorating

**wong** @sorcererwong  
which i guess is cool,, it’s prettier i suppose but don’t they have any creativity?? like it’s a rabbit lantern in the park every year

**wong** @sorcererwong  
yeah we get it chang’e is a queen and we’d all die for her and her rabbit but like,,, there so much more you could all do,,

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
wait im sorry for being white but what’s mid autumn festival all about?

**wong** @sorcererwong  
oh it’s basically the 15th day of the 8th month on the lunar calendar and families come together and just celebrate ig

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
is it just like thanksgiving

**wong** @sorcererwong  
i’m gonna be honest with you,,, i have no idea what the hell thanksgiving is

**wong** @sorcererwong  
but historically chinese ppl worshipped the moon for a bountiful harvest and had a feast to celebrate the harvest

**wong** @sorcererwong  
in modern day, chinese people kinda just stay up all night feasting and looking at the moon. we eat mooncakes together while the children chase each other with lanterns

**wong** @sorcererwong  
oh yeah bc i live in southern china, we occasionally get dragon or lion dancing but i haven't seen it much recently,, it’s more of a new years thing tbh

**wong** @sorcererwong  
wait!! i forgot the riddles!!

**wong** @sorcererwong  
traditionally riddles would be put onto lanterns for people to solve but now its kinda just riddles everywhere

**underwater,** @bluewarmth  
oh wow that sounds rly fun

**wong** @sorcererwong  
it’s rly is

**wong** @sorcererwong  
too bad my family is shit

**wong** @sorcererwong  
ANYWAYS we also worship our queen, chang’e

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
she’s the wu zetian of mythology

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
and that means?

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
it means i would marry her if i wasn’t gay

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
an actual legend and i have considered going to the moon to meet her

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
She’s not real

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
i can prETEND STEPHEN

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
stephen is jealous

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
I’m not jealous of a mythological character

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
you’re jealous

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
No.

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
you keep telling yourself that ok? ok.

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
anyways i kept mentioning “chinese people” and thats bc people of different places in asia have different traditions

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
in japan you have tsukimi, in korea you have chuseok, in vietnam you have tết trung thu, etc

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
i think tsukimi and chuseok have started? @U_GIN_Helen help me

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
Chuseok has started, Tsukimi has not

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
Chuseok is kinda different to Mid-Autumn Festival in China because it places more emphasis on ancestors compared to harvest

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
We go to our ancestors graves and clear the overgrowth and feast together. We also give each other gifts but not mooncakes and the likes, but more related to daily necessities like electronic devices or cooking material

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
There’s also folk games and entertainment like archery or ssireum

**Okoye** @doramilaje_okoye  
how are feasts different in different cultures?

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
Well for one, we normally eat Korean food instead of Chinese food. But also the specifics in the feast are different.

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
In Korea we don’t really have mooncakes, instead we have songpyeon which is like a traditional rice cake with stuffing? We also eat other things like hangwa and drink alcohol (typically sindoju I’m pretty sure).

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
Also, unlike mooncakes, we traditionally make songpyeon by hand as a family

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
I’m sure there are some families in China who make their own mooncakes from scratch but in the big cities people just buy commercially made ones

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
god i love mooncakes,, it’s literally the best part of mid autumn

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
like i know that we’re supposed to buy mooncakes and gift them to friends and family but like,,

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
snowy mooncakes are the fucking shit and i’m not sharing any of them

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
stephen gets one quarter and that it

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
also im pretty sure vietnam has animal shaped mooncakes and thats so fucking awesome

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
that sounds so much more interesting than thanksgiving

**carol** @firstdavenger  
when is mid autumn festival then?

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
uhh,,,,

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
tomorrow lmao oops

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
You didn’t prepare did you?

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
It wasn’t so much that he didn’t prepare, it was that he ate all his gifts

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
hey. i bought the snowy mooncakes too soon, i wasn’t going to let them spoil

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
you keep telling yourself that ok? ok.

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
blocked :-) !! anyways we stan mid autumn festival not national day ✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i didnt include anything of tsukimi or south-east asian variants of the festival. i'm just not as educated in them as i am with mid-autumn and chuseok
> 
> if i said anything wrong please correct me :))
> 
> happy mid autumn festival!! 中秋節快樂！！


	7. red lookin’ pretty sus rn ngl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the avengers among us. probably done before but i don't care :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am obsessed with among us,, i hate it here. my whole grade is obsessed as well and during lunch block we’re all yelling at each other trying to find the imposter. the school called us a disturbance tried to block the ip but we all started using 3G so they gave up
> 
> also holy shit 200 kudos?? sjdhnsjd thank you guys so much for the support!! i love yall so much <3

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
among us is so fucking good it’s hard to believe that it came out in 2018

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
why was no one aware of this back then?? what happened?? why did it suddenly blow up??

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
answers we have lost to the void of twitter

**leo (ia)** @boypillows  
AVENGERS AMONG US??

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
AVENGERS AMONG US!!

**zack (they/them)** @zackura  
could we request a live tweeting of a round,,,

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
perhaps but perhapsn’t

\- 

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i am going to be tweeting events of avengers among us spidey can fuck himself lmao

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
some of them will be past events but the avengers are playing rn so we might have some live stories owo

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i’m sorry the *** was not needed

**we don’t stan plant biology** @totipluriholy_  
why did you censor owo

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i am sinful but i’m not at that level yet

**normalise!! they/them!! in!! among us!!** @cmonguys  
why aren’t you playing then?

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
not to toot my own kazoo but hhhhnnng i’m so good at among us

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
he’s lying

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
he’s terrible

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
shuri why

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
the lobby was full and peter just sucks at the game so he isn’t playing

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
SHURI WHY

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
you can lie to stranger on social media, but remember, you can’t lie as imposter

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
NO!! NOT MY BIGGEST INSECURITY SHURI WHY

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
suffer for throwing my best game as imposter SUFFER PETER

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
SHURIIIIIII

-

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
AVENGERS AMONG US IS SO CHAOTIC WHAT THE HELL

**ava** @quantumghost  
IT’S SO FUNNY I AM ON THE GROUND CRYING

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE LSJKDHANDH

**the fly on mike pence’s head** @alstersoldier  
please livetweet avengers among us we beg

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
@NYCWallCrawler what do you think

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
don’t please you’re gonna expose me  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
and how are you going to stop me?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i am literally 100% of your impulse control  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
good thing that control is weak then LETS GO!!!!

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
LETS START WITH SPIDEY

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
NO WHY DO YOU HATE ME  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
yes

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
anyways spidey actually sucks ass at among us

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
cannot lie for shit

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
ONCE HE WAS THE IMPOSTER AND A BODY WAS FOUND AND EVERYONE WAS ASKED WHERE THEY WERE AND WHEN IT CAME TO SPIDEY TO ANSWER DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE FUCKING DID

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
STOP  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
HE FUCKING WAS LIKE “uhh wires” AND WHEN ASKED WHERE HE JUST WENT “vote me out please i can’t do this”

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
I CANT LIE SKJDHNSKJDH  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
YOU SHOULD HAVE LIVETWEETED AMONG US

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
I HATE IT HERE  


**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
I CONVINCED THE AVENGER TO TWEET ABOUT THEIR AMONG US ADVENTURES ARE YOU HAPPY  


**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
y e s

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
what the actual fuck,,,

-

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
i’m just gonna put this here but thor and bruce kinda sus, they haven’t said anything

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
We’re making out both in game and real life what do you want?

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
not that. any information except that.

-

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
skeld best map

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
liar its polus

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
no. skeld.

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
reject tradition. embrace modernity. polus for the win

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
mira hq 🥺👉 👈

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
spidey what the hell

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
what is fucking wrong with you

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
WHY IS EVERYONE BULLYING ME SKJDNSDH

-

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
WHITE FUCKING POPPED OUT OF THE VENT IN THE MIDDLE BUILDING IN POLUS WHILE I WAS REFULING AND DIDNT KILL ME WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
THEY JUST WALKED AWAY WHAT THE HELL

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
i am going to die an early death because of this fucking game

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
my heart cannot take this strain

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
haha white. if only the old, history white people left other countries alone as well

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
strive to be like the white imposter. leave people alone, mind your own business

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
WHITE IMPOSTER WAS CLINT SKJDHNS DON’T STRIVE TO BE LIKE HIM HE’S A DUMBASS

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
hey,,,

-

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
barnes, maria, mj and natasha are literally unbeatable??

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
when they’re in a game you pray that they’re on your side

**dynn is playing among us** @butterflyszn  
what about clint?

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
he’s a dumbass so he never wins

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
HEY

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
am i wrong

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
no.

-

**his majesty** @lokifluid  
i don’t trust anyone who plays orange sorry

**his majesty** @lokifluid  
it’s not you it’s me owo get your cowboy ass southern conservative vibe out of here

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
I AM NOT A FUCKING CONSERVATIVE????

**his majesty** @lokifluid  
ok tennessee boy

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
IM NOTKSJDNSJHD  
\- 

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
KSDJNHSDN STEVE JUST CAME OUT OF THE VENTS IN FRONT OF ME AND WE HAD 3 SECONDS OF EYE CONTACT AND HE WENT BACK INTO THE VENTS

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
KILL ME??

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
BUT THAT’S A BIT RUDE

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
hhh steve i love you

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
i know

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
no you don’t lmao

-

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
no one trusts loki so he’s always getting voted out lmao

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
loki: ok its not me and i saw clint vent  
everyone: it’s loki

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
turns out it was clint

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
because he’s a dumbass

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
not even gonna say anything fuck me

**booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
no thank you dumbass

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
i hate.

-

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
harley is actually good wtf??

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
no yall when i say he’s good i mean he’s good

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i might be bad at the game but i can recognise a connoisseur when i see one

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
he just found out who’s imposter based on the fucking admin view

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
how.

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
he also just deduced who's the imposter based on security cams. not hard right?

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
THE THING IS THE IMPOSTER DIDNT EVEN KILL SOMEONE ON CAMS HE DEDUCED IT BASED ON THE DIRECTION THE IMPOSTER WAS WALKING IN AND THEN THE DIRECTION HE MET THE IMPOSTER

**ava** @quantumghost  
I WAS PLAYING GOOD THAT ROUND FUCK YOU HARLEY

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
peter stop making me blush challenge

**ava** @quantumghost  
impossible for you

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
ava just stop talking thank you :-)

-

**carol** @firstdavenger  
OK SO THOR JUST STARTED PLAYING AMONG US AND LOKI AND VALK HAVE BEEN TEACHING HIM.

**carol** @firstdavenger  
HIS FIRST IMPOSTER ROUND? DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO KILL PEOPLE, EASY WIN FOR CREWMATES.

**carol** @firstdavenger  
BUT HIS SECOND ROUND?? KILLED 4 OF THE 5 KILLS. NO ONE FOUND ANY OF HIS BODIES. THE OTHER KILL WAS A VOTE OUT.

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
thor hard carried that round and i am now terribly afraid of him :))

**carol** @firstdavenger  
spidey any round you’re imposter the other person hard carries

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
AUNTIE CAROL NOT YOU TOO

**carol** @firstdavenger  
spidey i love and adore you but you’re terrible at among us

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
:(( !!

-

**maria hill** @deputyhill  
it always be “red vented” and never “does red need to vent”

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
we’re here for you 

**maria hill** @deputyhill  
i love you

-

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
ngl i would just fuck the imposter

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
eldritch entity sex would be wild and i wouldn’t be against it

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
sorry to all you non-monster fuckers i’m just built differently

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Wong, what the fuck.

-

**Okoye** @doramilaje_okoye  
why do people have to vote for me to jump into the lava,,, why can’t i jump into it on my own volition

**Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
This is a communism and you will abide by our rules

-

**Vision** @theVision  
wanda named her character “me” and tony saw her kill someone and told everyone to “vote me” and everyone voted tony off

**Vision** @theVision  
steve looked so confused and just slowly said “ok,,”

**Vision** @theVision  
when tony realised he fucking screeched i didnt know that he could reach that octave

-

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
the green dead body looks kinda tasty ngl

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
I AM NOT INTO VORE I REPEAT I AM NOT INTO VORE AND I’M NOT A CANNIBAL IT JUST REMINDS ME OF GREEN EGGS AND HAM

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
DR SUESS WAS MY CHILDHOOD I AM NOT INTO VORE I JUST MISS MY CHILDHOOD PLEASE STOP SKDJNSD

-

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
clint it such a dumbass what the hell i understand now

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
what the hell no i’m not

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
clint,, tell the people what you did

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
no :))

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
clint tell them or i’ll tell them

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
fuck you fine

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
i got voted out because i kept following purple and no one believed me when my reason was “purple has thick thighs”

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
i was not the imposter, purple just has nice thighs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter to date and its just short vignettes of among us bullshit with my friends,,, 
> 
> well oopsies i suppose


	8. annus unus transivit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memento mori. unus annus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from the summary you would not be able to tell that i am currently bawling my eyes out and having a mental breakdown because of two cishet men!! /lh
> 
> THIS YEAR HAS BEEN WILD AND IT WAS EVEN WILDER WITH UNUS ANNUS I CANNOT BELIEVE THEYRE GONE. THEY WERE A COMFORT THAT I HAD WITH ME EVERYDAY. THEY WERE A CHANNEL WHICH MADE 2020 BEARABLE. I’M GONNA OPEN YOUTUBE TMR AND THERE WON'T BE A VIDEO AND THAT’S JUST TERRIFYING.
> 
> I genuinely owe my life to them. How many times has it been now, Mark, Ethan?
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU ALL FOR 300 KUDOS THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!!
> 
> also!! sorry for the long gap between updates. i forgot the password to my gmail and ao3 so,, yea :D!! i have them now but i have exams soon so updates still sporadic. sorry :(
> 
> im failing chinese and maths so school is going swell!!!!!!

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
OH MY GOD I CANT

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
hoky fuck

**harley’s struggles (now documented in color)** @potatoharley  
I KNOW HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK OH GOD IT NEVER SANK IN

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
I AM NOT PROCESSING THIS

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
FUCK THE CLOCK I HATE THE CLOCK

**carol** @firstdavenger  
are you both ok?

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
NO

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
NO

**carol** @firstdavenger  
oh ok cool have fun

**unus rights || 000:00:00:00** @softgameplays  
holy shit avengers are unus annus stans

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
YES AND I HATE THAT I AM

**annus rights (she/they) || 000:00:00:00** @softiplier  
MEMENTO MORI BITCH!!!

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
MEMENTO MORI BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  


**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
GOD I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING AND I'M STILL DEVASTATED OG MYFGOD

**number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM GOING TO CRY

**number 1 chang’e stan || 000:00:00:00** @sorcererwong  
I WOKE UP AT 3AM FOR THESE FUCKERS OH MY GOD IM GONNA CRY

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
WE BE GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF ON SHUFFLE AND REPEAT

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
CLINT BIG MOOD

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
I HAVE NOT EATEN, DRINKEN, URINATED OR MOVED FOR THE LAST 11 HOURS

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
BIG MOOD HAWKY BOY

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
oh well im going to have a breakdown :))

**number 1 chang’e stan || 000:00:00:00** @sorcererwong  
BIG FUCKING MOOD BIRD MAN

-

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
peter has been bugging me about unus annus for the last 11 hours

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
you too?

**james** @jbbucky  
you three?

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
its almost like we’re his parents lmao

**james** @jbbucky  
lmao

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
I AM CRYIG

-

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
AMY’S FIT OH SHIT HER SUIT WOW

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
for the people in the back: amy, evan and the editors are also responsible for the success and beauty of unus annus and y’all better recognise that /srs

-

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
IT NEVER SUNK IN

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
I NEVER REALLY HAD MUCH HOPE FOR THE PUSH RESET SHIT BUT LIKE

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
WE HAVE AN HOUR

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
O N E H O U R

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
IT WAS A YEAR AGO JUST YESTERDAY

**personal sintern || 000:00:00:00** @parkerighthere  
FROM WHAT GAPS DID THE TIME SLIP THROUGH?????

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
JUST WATCHING THE LIVESTREAM IT DIDN’T HIT ME UNTIL THE 10 MINUTES MARK

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
LIKE,,,, AT THE START I WAS LIKE 12 hours with unus annus aww how nice BUT NOW IM JUST PANICKING

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
WHAT IF I FORGET?? WHAT IF I MISREMEMBER??

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
I GET THAT THESE ARE MEMORIES BUT IT FEEL WRONG FOR THEM TO NOT BE PURE

**number 1 chang’e stan || 000:00:00:00** @sorcererwong  
every video you forget you feel as if you’ve disappointed them

**harley’s gonna cry || 000:00:00:00** @potatoharley  
EXACTLY

**number 1 chang’e stan || 000:00:00:00** @sorcererwong  
THEY’VE DONE SO WELL. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD. THEY DESERVE A BREAK.

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
ETHAN WAS RIGHT WHEN HE SAID NO ONE ELSE COULD DO IT LIKE THEM

-

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
MARK LOOKING AND ADDRESSING US AND TELLING US HE’S PROUD. I AM A GROWN MAN AND I AM SOBBING

**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
HIS EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN HIS EYES HE’S SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY OH GOD

  


**true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
FUCK THEY’RE ALL GONNA PRESS THE BUTTON TOGETHER MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS OH MYG OD 

-

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
MARK ETHAN AMY EVAN LIXIAN VINCENT MARCUS RACHEL AND ALL THE GUESTS FEATURING ON UNUS ANNUS

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS YEAR SUCH A SPECIAL YEAR

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
we are facing the reality that things end, that they should end, that they should end right

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
it’s hard to say goodbye and i understand that, but in a world where everything is so everlasting, having something with the ability to disappear forever is a lesson.

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
in the end, it doesn’t matter what you do, the clock keeps ticking and the end keeps looming closer.

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
you can do so much in a lifetime. you can do so little in a lifetime.

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
a year is more than enough time to change a life. do the things you want and can. once it passes, you can never get those seconds back. life has no reset button. every second is meaningful and every second has the potential to alter your life in drastic ways.

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
please respect the wishes of unus annus and not reupload any of their content. give the channel the rest it deserves; it’s the death which makes us cherish it so.

**actually spiderman || 000:00:00:00** @NYCWallCrawler  
we’ve unus-ed our last annus. memento-ed our last mori. thank you so much for a beautiful time #UnusAnnusIsOverParty #MementoMori #WeWereHere 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unus annus has been a big comfort for me this past year and today has really left me in a state of shock. 
> 
> i swear, i'm gonna go to lunch tomorrow and look for the new video only to realise it isn't there and then just cry.
> 
> i am crying right now so if they're any errors it is because i cannot see my screen clearly
> 
> i'm sorry this is so self-indulgent, if any of you have any idea what im talking about then i love you /p
> 
> i love you all /p


	9. what the hell happened in octovecember 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last three months were actually wild what the hell happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and i’m back baby!!!! needed to take a break because of exam month which is now over!!! i think i did pretty ok in my tests. i messed up chemistry but i’ve never had much hope with stoichiometry in the first place. got a 11/20 in chinese which is a fail :)) but hey, improvement is improvement
> 
> i also never realised how much of a positive impact unus annus had on my mental health and now that it’s gone ive been spiralling :)) of course they deleted before exam month ofc they did :))

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
what the fuck just happened

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
it was march like,, yesterday and now its december??

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
god choked their speedrun, did a reset and beat a record

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
TRUE!!!!!!!

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
the real question is: was the 2020 finale better than the supernatural one?

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
don’t you fucking dare

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
please don’t mention that show i’ve seen enough of it on my dash please stop oh god stop

-

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
no but seriously what the hell happened in the last few months

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
it was like the aftershock of the impact that was 2012 finally hit us

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
it was a hell of a ride

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
it was like being on 2010s tumblr again oh god those time sometimes i miss it

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
im sorry you were on 2010s tumblr?

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
uh.

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
ABORT

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
GIVE ME YOUR URL PLEASE SIR

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
NO I DONT HAVE A TUMBLR I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKNING ABOUT

 **xyr majesty** @lokifluid  
was it a superwholock tumblr

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
FUCK. OFF.

 **xyr majesty** @lokifluid  
W A S I T

 **Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
It was

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
STOP

 **Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
Actually more of a superwho Tumblr blog because he thought the Sherlock in BBC Sherlock was ugly and refused to watch it

 **Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Excuse me?

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
i stand by what i said wizard boy

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
ALSO PEPPER I GAVE YOU SO MUCH

 **Virginia Potts SI** @PPotts_SI  
You took the last portion of coffee while staring me in the eyes even though you knew I had a conference call later, I’m not prepared to show mercy today.

  


**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
holy fuck @shuri_jan please

 **a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
on it.

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
NO STOP.

-

 **ava** @quantumghost  
ok so let’s talk about octovecember

 **ava** @quantumghost  
what happened in these eldritch monstrosities of three months

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
destiel

 **ava** @quantumghost  
i’ve been trying to ignore that

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
putin resigning rumours STEMMING FROM DESTIEL

 **a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
WAIT IT STARTED FROM DESTIEL

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
and then the media reported it wrong

 **Wasp** @waspvanDyne  
Why do YOU KNOW THIS

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
WHAT DO YOU THINK I SPEND MY FREE TIME DOING

 **Wasp** @waspvanDyne  
ANYTHING BUT GOING ON TUMBLR

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
where else would i get my gifsets

 **Wasp** @waspvanDyne  
FUCK I CANT THINK OF AN ANSWER

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
don’t pretend you’re not on there either i see you scrolling on plaugecore and scenecore tumblr

 **ava** @quantumghost  
you’re on furby tumblr don’t even talk

 **i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
and how the FUCK do you know that

 **ava** @quantumghost  
i sneaky

  


**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
The three day American election which ended with everyone waiting for Nevada to count the fucking ballots

 **Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Trump prematurely declaring himself the winner

 **Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Trump having a meeting with his lawyers at “Four Season”

 **Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Turns out “Four Seasons” didn’t refer to the luxury hotel “Four Seasons” but the carpark of Four Seasons Landscaping which was in between a crematorium and a sex-toy shop

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
is this real what the hell

 **Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
i don’t even know anymore

 **War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
can i add stephen colbert having a break down and calling trump a facist

 **War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
because that was legendary

 **War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
also north dakota electing a dead person into the house of representatives

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
2020 OCTOVECEMBER SPEED ROUND BABY!!!!

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
fake ray bands sale which fooled so many people

 **xyr majesty** @lokifluid  
hetalia is back and a fandom was revived

 **number 1 chang’e stan** @sorcererwong  
the artist who was also a ted bundy roleplayer got caught and called out

 **Helen Cho M.D.** @U_GIN_Helen  
yuri on ice released a fucking 60 second trailer after radio silence for years and revived the yoi fandom alongside the superwholock + hetalia fandoms

 **james** @jbbucky  
trans king elliot page comes out

 **james** @jbbucky  
elliot page 🤝 gerard way 🤝 klaus hargreeves  
umbrella academy he/theys

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
would like to mention scientists have found an actual hell planet and have dubbed it as an actual hell planet

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
scientists. people of science. gave this planet a dumbass twitter @ to refer to it informally

 **maria hill** @deputyhill  
hello but was the dan and phil dating confirmation octovecember or last year?

 **maria hill** @deputyhill  
i don’t even remember bc it was a blur??

 **maria hill** @deputyhill  
they were my life when i was younger lmao

 **maria hill** @deputyhill  
and by younger i mean for the last 5 years holy shit i am still attached to them

 **true homies hate clint** @realHawkeye  
HELLO DID Y’ALL FORGET UNUS ANNUS GOT DELETED???

 **local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
THAT WAS NOVEMBER AND I AM STILL NOT OVER IT

 **local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
also #BowelMovementMark lmao

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
wait has no one mentioned the spanish destiel confession??

 **dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
that was a huge fucking deal lmao

 **Vision** @theVision  
while we’re on the topic of superwholock,,,,

 **Vision** @theVision  
sherlock season 5 rumours were circulating the internet again

 **Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
Obsidian was released and i fell in love with bubbline again

 **Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
wlw are winning this year

 **Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
hello remember when system of a down released music for the first time in 15 years remember that??

 **Peter Starlord Quill** @starlordpeter  
johnny depp leaves fantastic beasts

 **Peter Starlord Quill** @starlordpeter  
and i just got into that fucking series why does this always happen

 **booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
the dabi confirmation thing that i will not spoil in case there are some non-tumblr non-manga bnha fans here

 **carol** @firstdavenger  
I’m Sorry Are You A Tumblr Weeb??????????

 **booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
i’m drunk

 **booze queen** @bunnhilde__  
also ouran highschool host club season 2 rumours that turned out to be false which i :) am :) not :) mad :) about :)

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
aye the among us streamers finally got verified

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
@verified what took so long lmao

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i would also like to mention that it has been hell on kpop twitter

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
specifically the whole karl marx is prettier than bts jin argument

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
WILD

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
thats not even half of it

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
gfriend started a whole ass argument between tons of girl groups asking the age old question: “is it one butt or two”

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
now obviously it’s 1 butt 2 cheeks but bc of gfriend’s impact the whole girl group side of the industry is debating this

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
at least i think it was gfriend

 **BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
friendships are being torn apart /j case in point (g)i-dle

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
can i also mention the dreamcatcher concert and we had ot7 stages because handong is back??

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
AND A LIVE BAND??

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
lmao was that the most memorable thing from the concert for you? bora dressing up as hellboy and dancing to maria by hwasa is something i need wiped from my brain

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
can i mention that dreamcatcher might get a bonsang before getting a music show win? legends.

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
also!! mama was live like a few days ago and twitter is still going insane

 **wanda** @scarletwitch  
everyone have a meltdown over different things like “soyeon carrying performance with the racists” and “monsta x being seniors but having NOTHING” and “the boyz setting a platform on fire then having a sword fight while singing on the burning platform” 

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
also apparently mama didn’t want to afford waiting rooms for the idols so they were all in the parking lot. in the cold. during a pandemic.

  


**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
hello

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
special mention to tumblr user gaud’s tony the tiger x grinch fanfic

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
they’ve been threatening us for ages and finally had the guts to deliver

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
it’s beautiful

-

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ITS BEEN LIKE 2 MORE DAYS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
DESTIEL IS CANON A THIRD TIME

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
THE FUCKING ZODIAC KILLER’S 340 CIPHER IS DECRYPTED BY A TEAM OF AMATEUR CODEBREAKERS

 **Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
also taylor swift, our queen, released a new album and IT SLAPS

 **Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
and it has a song about killing men

 **Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
i love her

 **actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
taylor swift caused destiel to be confirmed again which allowed the codebreakers the inspiration to break the zodiac cipher

 **ava** @quantumghost  
just when i think i cannot be surprised i am once again surprised

-

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
*gets down on one knee* will you be the “y yo a ti cas” to my “te amo”?

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
si

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
oh holy fuck

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
anyone respond to that but you

 **harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
/j* ?

 **personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
EVEN WORSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i missed a lot of event but if anyone knows all of these ones then you deserve a gold star. 
> 
> aaaaaand as i post this,, destiel goes canon for the fourth time. i hope the spn fandom is having fun


	10. merby cimbus everybody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays!!!!! also harley and peter flirt and everyone clowns them for being oblivious!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally wrote this because i didn’t want to do homework and also i want to see the avengers chaotically try to set up a christmas tree :DD
> 
> also it’s about time harley and peter actually “flirt”
> 
> happy holidays to everyone, no matter what you celebrate!! hope y’all stay safe

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
peeing myself is like happiness

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
i haven’t experienced it since i was 5

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
are you not happy to be with me :(

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
fuck is there a way to tweet things without specific people seeing?

**ava** @quantumghost  
do /@username_you_wanna_exclude\ [message]

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
~~/@parkerighthere\ i love you and being with you~~  
This tweet is unavailable

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
what

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
AVA YOU LIED TO ME HOLY FUCK

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
how did you reply so fast peter wtf

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
i have your notifs on :D

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
WHAT

**ava** @quantumghost  
get a grip keener

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
har,, lee,, ???????

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
pee ter?????

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
mee?? lop me??????

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
haha???????

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
haha!!

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
ha :)) ha :))!!

**ava** @quantumghost  
holy fucking shit both of you are useless

-

**BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
@nedinthechair we need the mistletoe

**dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
gotcha

**BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
get like a whole tree of it bc these dumbasses cannot take a hint

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
fun fact: mistletoe are parasites!!!!! they latch onto trees and just never let go

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
very fun!!!!! thank you mr peter benjamin parker

**dxracer stan** @nedinthechair  
ffs

-

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
when i said christmas music. never in my life would i picture corpse

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
how is corpse christmas music?? what the hell

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
why ARE YOU PLAYING THIS PETER WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TOO YOUNG

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
MR STARK THIS IS A BANGER!!!!

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
CHOKE ME LIKE YOU CHOKE ME WHEN YOU CHOKE ME.

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
LOWKEY WANNA LOWKEY WHEN YOU LOWKEY.

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
HOLY SHIT YOU KNOW CORPSE

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
OFC I KNOW CORPSE

**personal sintern** @parkerighthere  
YO!!!!!!

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
ava i understand now

**ava** @quantumghost  
thank you

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
TONY YOU ARE THE EXACT SAME

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
did someone say something??

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
things that aren’t racist but seem racist. this.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
sorry buddy i can’t hear you over the screaming kids

**War Machine** @col_jamesrhodes  
we. are. typing.

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
jared 19? no. i am tony 50 and i also can’t read

-

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
EVERYBODY!! the avengers will be trying to set a christmas tree

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i ofc will be livetweeting >:)

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
no need to thank me

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
tho praise feels nice right here in my little meow meow

**oh it’s charlie** @6ftsubmxrine  
im sorry??

**gen z type depression** @cxptainnoir  
ma’am?????? your WHAT???????

**goblin lesbian** @froggatecore  
EXCUSE ME MISS!!!!!

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
IT IS A MEME STOP THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
HEATHENS STOP!!!!

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
LoL

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
THE CAPTAIN SAYS AVAST PL E ASE

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
also “LoL”?? like league of legends????

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
but also wth who says “lol” in 2020 if they don't mean they’re crying their eyes out

  


**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
ok friday has told stark that the christmas tree delivery man has arrived

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
stark told friday to let the delivery man in

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
friday said that the tree doesn’t fit through the door

**james** @jbbucky  
ok but how. how. the front area is like 60ft tall

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
the tree. is 70ft.

**james** @jbbucky  
TONY WHY

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
WE HAVE LIKE 40 PEOPLE CELEBRATING WITH US DO YOU THINK THAT WE CAN HAVE an iddy 🥺 biddy 🥺 twee 🥺 LIKE WE NORMALLY DO??? NO!

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY ON THIS FUCKING TREE YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
no one is 60ft who’s doing the star

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
sweetheart. that’s the challenge.

**Black Widow** @BlackWidow  
oh you’re fucking on tin can.

-

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
competition time

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
obviously i am not competing because i would win easily

**Sorcerer Supreme** @SStrange  
Lies.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
go back to playing with your sticks and sparks while the real women play with hydrocarbons

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
anyways

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
they’re all arguing what colour the decorations the tree should be

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
thor thinks it should be gold because he misses asgard and asgard is gold

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
christmas was originally a pagan holiday and that’s his excuse

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
bruce agrees with him because ofc he does

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
clint wants purple bc ofc he wants purple

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
FOR THE ARO ACE AESTHETIC BABEEEEE!!!!!!!!

**deukae lgbt protectors** @damiace  
holy fuck

**ferbee** @FR0GB0Y  
WHAT THR FUFK

**ASPEC AVENGERS** @pipedirtiers  
HAWKEYE ARO ACE

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
ARROW ACE BABY!!!!!

**thomas** @purplecabbage  
ARROW ACE!!!!!!!

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
HELLO!!!!!!! aspec people are very valid and if you are aspec just let it be known that i love you very much

**AROACE HAWKEYE** @turbulentcoat  
I AM CRYINGDKSJHL

**marsha <3** @ethicalnoodles  
HOLY FUCK I CANT

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
im also blocking people who don’t believe aspec ppl are lgbtq+ and i will be sharing a blocklist later if any ppl want it

**charlie** @unnus  
KING HOLY FUCK

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
stealing my thunder.. 

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
haha thunder

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
im proud of you tho

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
thank you twat

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
anytime :))

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
anyways

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
peter wants it (the tree) to be red white and blue

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
“you can take my pride but you can never take my american spirit” - peter

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
“peter did you just quote kung fu panda” - maria hill

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
barnes is laughing and agreeing with peter for the sole reason that it annoys steve

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
tony as well

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
natasha wants a black christmas tree

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
maria and pepper agree with her

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
oh a fight between the binary genders

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
just like the olden days

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
if the women dont win then we call misogyny ok guys?

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
ava and mj join team black because of their aesthetics

**BLACK LIVES MATTER EVERY DAY** @comrademj  
i cannot break the hold dark academia has on me

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
understandable. go read donna tartt and cry a little, buddy :)

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
harley joined the black team because he closeted

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
WHAT TH FCK

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
a closeted emo

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
I FUCNING HTE YOU LOLKI

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
IAM RHIS CLOSE TO KILLING YO U

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
“lolki” thank you for proper english mr deep south

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
steve joins red white and blue because he’s horny for ____

**Steve Rogers** @Capt_America  
Loki.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
you ARE??? i thought it was someone else :)

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
anyways, so far:  
team red white and blue: peter, barnes, tony, steve  
team emo bitches: natasha, maria, pepper, ava, mj, harley  
team arrow ace: clint  
team asgard apologists: bruce, thor

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
vision and wanda join red white and blue because it matches their aesthetic

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
oh dearie what aesthetic?? redcore????

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
there’s an aesthetic for everything and i am the patron saint of redcore

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
if you say so

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
you’re just scared of the power i hold. you can never stop redcore

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i can whoop your ass all the way to next thursday don’t try me.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
also at least i have a real aesthetic

**wanda** @scarletwitch  
scenecore? lmao

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
emocore actually!! green is just black’s little sister

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i voted team emocore because they need all the votes they can get and even though they hate me they’ll still take it

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
scott votes red white blue because he’s a fanboy

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
hope votes emocore because she hates scott

**i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
i would like to note we are in a very healthy relationship and that i love hope and she loves me very much right hope???

**Wasp** @waspvanDyne  
Yes.

**i’m scott lang!!!** @antmann  
:D!!

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
ok softboi

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
so far:  
team red white and blue: peter, barnes, tony, steve, vision, wanda, scott  
team emo bitches: natasha, maria, pepper, ava, mj, harley, loki, hope  
team arrow ace: clint  
team asgard apologists: bruce, thor

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
ned votes team emo bitches because he misses mcr

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
wong also votes team emo bitches because he missed mcr

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
ok wow a new challenger approaches!! hela votes team arrow ace because she hates everyone

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i thought you were the living definition of an emo

**goddeath** @helagoddess  
i want to make this a harder time for everyone

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
understandable but your contribution does nothing

**goddeath** @helagoddess  
just like your role in the family

 **her majesty** @lokifluid  
ouch too soon

**goddeath** @helagoddess  
you’ve had a 1000 years to process this

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
TOO SOON

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
so, valkyrie votes red white blue because she needs a bit of excitement in her life and the white christmas decorations are a better canvas for vandalism

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
carol votes red white and blue bc she wants to see what valkyrie will come up with

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
so far:  
team red white and blue: peter, barnes, tony, steve, vision, wanda, scott, valkyrie, carol  
team emo bitches: natasha, maria, pepper, ava, mj, harley, loki, hope, ned, wong  
team arrow ace: clint, hela  
team asgard apologists: bruce, thor

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
spidey votes team emo and team america is having an outburst

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
rhodey and sam vote team red white and blue so that they can annoy steve and bully tony

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
helen and okoye vote for team emo because america sucks

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
m’baku and t’challa vote for red white and blue because they want to vandalise the american colours

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
it is all down to shuri.

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
oh wow this power.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
if you are gonna do what i think you’re gonna do then i will actually steal you something from stark’s workshop

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
well trickster mx-ster i hope i don’t disappoint

**Falcon** @SamuelFalcon  
loki what the fuck

**Okoye** @doramilaje_okoye  
loki what have you done

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
me?????? i have done nothing ::((

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i merely gave incentive, it was the princess’ choice to follow through.

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
loki i will dm you

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
ofc ;) it will be fun to steal

**Iron Man** @aTonyStark  
loki no.

**unus rights** @softgameplays  
what happened

**annus rights (she/they)** @softiplier  
please

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
shuri, the mad lad, voted team arrow ace.

**harley’s gonna cry** @potatoharley  
shuri you’re an emo why did you betray us

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
i am chaos itself first. an emo second.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
that’s actually my job

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
i’m stealing it

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
if you can paint all the building in wakanda neon pink by tomorrow morning i will consider it

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
acrylic paint works the best btw!!

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
loki what the actual fuck no

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
do you complete the deal?

**a literal princess** @shuri_jan  
you’re on, watercress.

**T’Challa** @WakandaPanther  
loki what have you done

-

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
after a water break the avengers are back.

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
it’s a showdown between team red white blue and team emo

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
they’re standing in a line facing each other

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
my chem is playing in the background

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
it’s goodnite dr death so it slowly morphs into the american anthem

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
clint: “the rules are simple but the game not so much. put the star on the top of the tree and your decorations will be the final touch. everyone can use their powers but please don’t destroy the tower”

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
nice

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
thanks i worked really hard on that

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
i was being sarcastic

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
oh

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
as a recap:  
team red white and blue: peter, barnes, tony, steve, vision, wanda, scott, valkyrie, carol, rhodey, sam, m’baku, t’challa  
team emo bitches: natasha, maria, pepper, ava, mj, harley, loki, hope, ned, wong, spidey, helen, okoye

**her majesty** @lokifluid  
gotta go to my “team” i will see you guys later

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
god what a twat

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
now that she’s gone. ready?

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
well then let the games begin :)

-

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
before we started bruce asked if anyone wants to not fight

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
bruce you ruined the fun part

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
i wanted to see harley battle peter

**Bruce Banner** @bbanner  
sorry,, it just some people could get hurt

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
fine.

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
current teams:  
team red white and blue: barnes, tony, steve, vision, wanda, scott, valkyrie, carol, rhodey, sam, m’baku, t’challa  
team emo bitches: natasha, maria, pepper, ava, loki, hope, wong, okoye

**local ua fanboy (derogatory)** @realHawkeye  
peter, mj, harley, ned, spidey and helen left the field

**ashley** @neverdiedead  
wait why spidey

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
i’m not feeling good atm :((

**ashley** @neverdiedead  
ohh :((

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
THE GOOD THING IS I WILL NOW BE COMMENTATOR!!!!!

**gen why** @blamekids  
:OO!!!!!

**aspec hawkeye is real losers** @leaveface301  
HELL YEAH DUDE

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
WELP things not looking good for team emo

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
WE BEGIN!!!!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
mr stark uses his suit to reach the star first, he throws it to scott who has grown around 60ft?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
OH!! hope van dyne intercepts and flies towards the tree!!!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
a (fake) bullet, a shield, a non lethal repulsor blast, magic, another (fake) bullet and another non lethal repulsor blast flies towards hope!! she throws the star to natasha and shrinks down to dodge everything!!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
natasha is running so fast but NOT FAST ENOUGH as cap and valkyrie are catching up

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
holy fuck mr bucky barnes just shot the star out of natasha’s hand and into t’challa’s waiting grasp

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
t’challa is running towards the tree and is climbing up scott’s back

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
natasha and maria shoot at him but bro. this suit vibranium. it ain’t gonna be stopped by some rubber bullets

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ava phases and grabs the star and disappears

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
t’challa looks so confused even with the mask on,, shuri, m’baku and okoye are just laughing at him

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
t’challa asks why m’baku is not helping and m’baku just says he joined the team to SEE T’CHALLA STRUGGLE

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
t’challa looks so disappointed

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ava is phasing and nothing can touch her lmao..

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
oh except vision apparently……

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ok wow this isn’t fair vision is just phasing so nothing can touch him and he’s out of ava’s reach

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
wait loki is doing something

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
ok what the fuck??? loki did something to the infinity stone and vision just?? lost his powers???

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
pepper is looking at vision in disappointment and vision apologises

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
sam flies in to grab the star but he bounces off a barrier wong created!!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
sam is saying that’s cheating while wong cackles and tells him not to be reliant on technology

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
wanda disables wong’s shield and mocks wong telling him NOt To bE RELiAnT On mAgiC

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
carol grabs the star and flies up to the tree!! okoye actually manages to hit her with her spear

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
the star falls on the ground!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
wow that was a good shot auntie carol is actually impressed,,, they’re just talking about physics now what the hell??

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
m’baku grabs the star!! he begins to climb up scott who is actually managing to stay 60ft tall good for him.

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
m’BAKU IS DODGING ALL OF TEAM EMO’S SHOTS WHAT IS THIS

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
THE STAR HAS BEEN PLACED BY M’BAKU ON THE TREE

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
wait a fuckin moment m’baku is right next to me?? and on the tree?????

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
holy fuck tree m’baku is loki

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
holy fuck what the actual hell

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
team red white blue says that’s cheating bc that’s not fair

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
team emo says it’s not bc it’s cool

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
what does the bestest referee in the whole wide world (clint) say?

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
HE SAYS IT’S NOT CHEATING!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!! TEAM EMO WINS AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE WILL HAVE BLACK DECORATIONS!!!!!

**actually spiderman** @NYCWallCrawler  
GG EVERYONE!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS OR/AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loki got nerfed in the last few movies so it’s his time to shine because i am a thor 1 and avengers stan :))) i’m sorry if anyone wanted m’baku to win :((
> 
> also for christmas i got a trenchcoat, a 1998 furby and 6 worms on a string!!!! my dream of becoming a mix between jack harkness and double trouble is coming true!! i'm gonna be so powerful


End file.
